21st & 22nd Nights
"Another Kiss Is All I Ask"
It's three days since we were together, with others of course. You were busy but I did get a couple of hugs, a couple of touches on my hand but no chance for another kiss. Two many eyes and ears for a "miss you" from you but just being in the same room with you is heaven. You were stunning in a dress, your usual drop-dead gorgeous self, bare legs, no hose, open-toe shoes. I could have led you by your hand out the door and far away so we could make love together all night long, you were just so gorgeous. Again, only in my dreams can I hold you and softly stroke your hair, your cheek, kiss you gently but long and passionately, meld together in an embrace of sweet love and bliss; the thought of 'Us' is a vision of pure ecstasy in my dream-like state. You're so beautiful, so graceful, so sexy. I do miss you so, my Genuine Gorgeous Girl.
I also miss our daily conversations, our talks of hopes and dreams. Today I did get a sign you were thinking of me. I wonder if you know just how much I look for those little signs that let me know I'm on your mind, just how much you pick me up when I see them. They are, however, very few and far between now but I understand why. I'm hoping for a phone call soon, I need my fix, I need to hear your voice and your laugh. I wish too, that I can soon see your captivating smile. If only I could see it every day as long as I live, Gorgeous.
Oh the joy, the happiness I feel! You called yesterday morning and we talked until you had to go, couldn't stay on the line another second more. You miss me as much as I miss you it seems. When we can talk, all other problems we have disappear, vanish, as we immerse ourselves in each others thoughts and dreams, visions and fantasies of life and love together. But the clock alerts us to reality: we must go and face our day apart from each other, yet you are constantly on my mind. All day I think of you: what are you doing, where are you at this particular moment, are you thinking of me too? When will I see your beautiful self again? The hours pass, I get through the day, again I think back to the phone call, your voice, your laugh, your gracefulness.
Then, in the late afternoon, a knock at the door and there you are! Such a fantastic surprise! I ask you in, but you hesitate. Come in here, just for a minute I say. You relent and we embrace, hug tightly: 'I miss you so much, hold me, don't let go of me, please, please, never leave me', I think to myself. But, of course, we know to back off, both of us, even though now I know you would like to carry it so much more further, as I would, but will not cross that line. You're troubled by your feelings, I try to convey mine once again to you. There's no reason to rehash the conversation here, that one is between us. I was able to softly stroke your thigh, touch your hand, gaze into your mesmerizing eyes, drink in your femininity and beauty, even though you're in clothing suitable for a strenuous, exertion type of bicycle ride. Still so stunning, even in work out attire. We hug tightly and again you're gone. Oh Gorgeous, how I miss you already!
"Stay With Me, Now and Forever"
Another call on another day, this one was a lengthy one and I loved every second of it. In reality I can hear your voice, your laugh, if I close my eyes I can see you and just how beautiful you are. We talk of dreams, what could have been, how wonderful we could be together. Later, I go to a place where I know you'll ride by on your bike and there you are! We talk some more, this time I can see your beauty, tell you how gorgeous you are, see you smile, hear you laugh and tell you some more how I enjoy it when we can talk for a while. I tell you how much I adore your smile, your laugh; we talk of how we would spend our days and nights should 'Us' ever come to be. Then you tell me you must go, it's getting late. We shouldn't hug where we are, too many eyes and ears, but we look into each others eyes, into each others souls, and then you're going on your way, but not before I mouth 'I Love You!' Your smile couldn't have been more dazzling when you read my lips. I must say it once again: I Love You, Gorgeous!
23rd & 24th Nights
"The Sweetest Moments Are When We Kiss"
Another phone call, another uplifting moment. I'm on top of the world. We talk, we laugh, we're happy so it seems. You tell me you'll call or text me if you decide to go out tonight. Later in the evening, I see you're online, you're where you said you'd like to attend if possible and you would let me know if you're heading that way. Well, you're there, you didn't let me know. I've been sitting here drinking and I'm crushed. There must be a really good reason you didn't contact me, isn't there? I hope so! I would hope by now you'd know just how much I want to be wherever you are, whenever I can. I'll stop now, there has to be an explanation.
I got a chance to see you the next day, had a few moments of conversation. You gave me your reason for not letting me know you went out and I feel much better. You were once again dressed to kill, drop dead gorgeous and a bit tipsy. Your smile and laugh were so beautiful, so mesmerizing. We hugged, we touched, you were rubbing my leg under the table, I was able to reach down and touch your cute little toes for a few seconds. I want to be able to touch and caress every part of you for hours on end, kiss you, explore every inch of you. You looked deep into my eyes and told me how much you'd like to be able to have your way with me this night, how much fun we could have together. We both know on this night it's not to be. If you only knew how I dream of going home together every second I'm awake.
During this week I've gotten several phone calls from you, more than usual. You tell me you're thinking of me, wanted to talk to me. How I love you thinking this way! You message me, tell me you'll be riding your bike later in the day. I get a chance to see you, talk to you, but others are near so we can't hug or touch but a quick glance between us and I know we're on the same page.
Which brings us to this night: a subtle message and I know you're nearby, riding your bike, so I go for a ride to try and see if I can catch up with you. There you are! You see me and come to me, we hug, we touch, you tell me how happy you are to see me, you thought you'd missed me this evening. It is a moment I will always remember and cherish. The look on your face and your beautiful smile makes me want to kiss you, hold you, caress you and never let go of you, but it's not possible out on the street. It's a fantastic dream though! We get to talk for a while, you tell me what you've been thinking and I couldn't be happier unless, of course, we were to become a loving couple, together, 'Us'. You told me how good I look; I'm pleasantly surprised you said that and tell you how beautiful you are. On this night, at that moment, even in attire suitable for a work out on your bike ride, you were stunning, breathtakingly gorgeous, mesmerizing.
Sadly we must part once again, but this night, this meeting was special. We hug tightly, I can feel the bond between us becoming stronger. Could my dream of a loving relationship with my fantasy girl come true? I am truly missing you as I write this tonight, Gorgeous.
"Constantly Missing You"
Two days later was a special day: I was able to see you earlier in the day and then in the evening, too. You were busy in the afternoon but we got a chance to hug; you were dressed up, drop dead gorgeous and your scent was intoxicating. I wanted to drink in every inch of you but too many eyes were once again upon us so I will savor the moment and tuck away the memory of you at that instant with all of my other memories of you and your graceful, stunning self. Later that night we were together once again, in a group as usual. You were dressed more casually but still totally beautiful. I watched you as you came in the room; it was my turn to be busy but my eyes followed you as you entered the place, so beautiful, so graceful and so damn sexy. Another touch here, a quick hug there and then so suddenly it seems, the night ended and you were on your way but not before you whispered in my ear "I'll try to see you tomorrow". My darling, tomorrow couldn't come soon enough!
Well, tomorrow came and I didn't get a chance to see you or talk to you. Then the next day came and again no sight of my Genuine Gorgeous Girl. I'm not too saddened because I know you must be very busy or else there are others around and you don't want to take the chance of being seen or heard trying to contact me. In only two days I feel like it's been months since I heard from you, I feel my heart in my throat once again: my dream girl, my fantasy love, where are you? I wonder, does she not want to talk to me, see me anymore? But then I think, it's only been two days! Get a grip!
Finally on the third day a quick call from you. You were, as I suspected, not wanting to chance any contact for fear of having to explain why you're getting in touch with me. I can understand it, I can respect it, but I miss you so much when you're not calling me or riding your bike in the neighborhood. No contact again for two days, I see you're online but you don't try to contact me so I assume others are in the area and you can't. Then you called today, actually called twice and I'm feeling elated once again. You start off saying you didn't know if I wanted to talk to you. I'm dying over here not being able to have any kind of contact with you, would walk through fire to get to see a glimpse of you, how could you think that I ask? You said you miss me, miss talking to me, miss seeing me. The joy I feel from our conversations this day is indescribable. I made you laugh and could see your beautiful, captivating smile as I closed my eyes, wishing you were there with me, wanting to hold you, kiss you, never let go of you. When the call ended, I thought of you all day, could see your beauty in my mind; I thought of 'Us' and fantasized about spending every second of the rest of my life with you. I really need to see you, touch you, hug you; I want to caress and kiss you forever, Gorgeous.
"For 'Us' to be real would make me richer than I could ever imagine"
25th and 26th Nights
"Oh, To Kiss You For Longer Than A Few Seconds"
The event we've been planning for several months has finally arrived: an annual street fair for the community to raise funds for the local hospital. We've both worked on the organizational committee, we helped set up in the local public commons the night before and spent most of the day working the venue in one capacity or another. We were busy but our paths were able to cross many times during the evening we set up and the day of the event. We could talk freely but carefully, got in a couple of hugs and touches when possible and many fond glances of each other, you smiling that mesmerizing smile, me soaking up your beauty. Your scent was tantalizing, delicious. At one point, you were close to me and asked "Can you take me home with you tonight?" I want to so much; you must know it, but it's just not in the cards, yet. A tempting thought yes, but we both know it's not to be this night. Such a wonderful fantasy to think I'd be able to spend the night with you, but I'm selfish: I want to spend every night with you, not just one.
It was a long day for a worthy cause among hundreds of people. We hugged goodbye at the end of the night knowing we had done something special for the town and then you were gone once again. But I could close my eyes and see every gorgeous inch of you as I dreamt of you and me together, holding each other as we drifted off to sleep after a tiring day, a delightful fantasy of 'Us'. Oh for that to be a reality, Gorgeous!
I awoke this morning thinking it would be sometime until I got to see you or hear from you. To my surprise, you messaged me when you saw me online. We had a brief conversation that made me happy. Then later in the afternoon as I'm outside, I see you on your bike and you stop to talk. We quickly go inside and embrace the most fantastic hug to date, then we kiss. Not only have I wanted to enjoy such a lengthy, warm, gentle, sweet delicious kiss but it seems you have too. It was better than I have ever fantasized about, but I knew it would be: it was indescribable. We know to stop, but if what we're doing is wrong then I don't want to ever be right. "I knew your kisses would be so sweet, so gentle"; "Me too, you replied." "Let's just make the best of what we can, while we can," I say. We talk quietly for a few minutes and kiss again, so sweet, so tasty, so absolutely delicious. We better go outside you say. I want to hold you, kiss you, caress you for hours but reality sets in of course. This is once again a moment I will savor and treasure forever. "I'm so glad I got to see you today" I said as your captivating smile flashed across your face. "Yes" you answered. A few more minutes of conversation, then you rode off on your bike. I think of you, your beauty, your gracefulness, your sweetness and kindness for the rest of the afternoon and evening. Your kiss is like an addictive drug: now that I've tasted your sweet lips and mouth, I want more and more, everyday, forever. I want no one else but you and I want you to have no one else but me. I want all of you, for all time, always, Gorgeous.
"The Kiss I Never Wanted To Stop"
So let me try to once again put this into some kind of perspective that makes sense. We are closer than we have ever been, yet we can't carry it any further, at this point in time, because we both have others that depend on us and too many lives would be affected. All of these words I write about your beauty, kindness, caring, gracefulness, sense of humor, intelligence, talent, femininity and sexiness come from my heart; the hopes, dreams and fantasy of 'Us' comes from my mind, heart and soul. I would do whatever it takes in the real world, short of committing a crime of course, to be able to spend what time I have on this earth with you and only you. You are without a doubt, the most wonderful woman I have ever laid eyes on, have ever had the pleasure to know. You are such a beautiful person both inside and out; I'm so very envious of those who are closest to you because I want to be the one closest to you, yet I can't ever show my true feelings to anyone but you. I put my thoughts here for you to see; someday, sooner rather than later I hope, you'll be able to pour your heart, your inner thoughts, your very soul out to me at length instead of a little here and there as time allows.
"We Kiss Wherever We Want, Whenever We Want"
Once more I'll say it: I adore you and everything about you, I can't get enough of you. I miss you, want you, need you, love you. I enjoy being in your company, love hearing your laugh, seeing your smile, love knowing I make you happy, make you laugh and that you like being with me. Your kiss is heavenly, delicious; your beauty is beyond compare. I find myself feeling empty, hollow, whenever I'm not able to be near you or have any contact with you. My heart aches for you when we are apart to the point where it's a definite lovesickness. I truly am deeply, totally and hopelessly in love with you and dream of the day you'll be in love with me too, feeling about me all that I have told you I feel about you, my dream girl, my fantasy love, my Genuine Gorgeous Girl.
"When I Look At The Moon, I Think Of You"
"There Aren't Enough Stars, Gorgeous"
It's after midnight, I'm on my fifth alcoholic beverage of the past two hours and I feel compelled to write some more. I drink because you're not here. I know you can't be, but I'm so lonely none the less. I was going to stop with the last paragraph above but I'm so wanting you to know what I'm thinking and feeling, and can't communicate with you any other way, so I have to put my thoughts here, hoping you'll see them soon or at least hear them from me when you call and we have the time for me to read to you some more. I drift off, a fantasy of you and me, 'Us', spending our lives together. Today was a beautiful, sunny day, but I think of what it would be like to hold you, kiss you, caress you and make love with you over and over on a rainy or snowy day and night, telling each other our most innermost secrets as we embrace and kiss for hours on end. There's no reason for dreaming of a rainy day, I would of course enjoy spending sunny days with you too as we walk along the beach, the boardwalk, a waterfront, along a trail in the woods or just a leisurely walk through town, but knowing we'd be in each others arms inside, away from others is a wonderful thought, a delightful fantasy of the two of us.
It's seven days since I've seen you. All week, every day except yesterday, I've either talked with you on the phone or had a text from you. Knowing you want to contact me, want to talk to me, is so extremely uplifting, I can't express how much I love you wanting to talk to me as much as I want to talk to you. It's a terrific, wonderful, can't come up with enough superlatives, beautiful feeling: words can't express how good it feels to have you seemingly on the same page with me. I say seemingly because I know you are so conflicted within yourself, wondering if what we have together is 'right'. In my mind it's 'right' because it feels like we definitely belong together. You know when we are together, I never try to do anything that would make you feel as if you're going against your beliefs, I have too much respect for you and want this to be such a wonderfully perfect, nothing happens that shouldn't happen between us relationship. Never would I try to do anything to you or with you that would compromise your values. I know you're "not like that". However, this bond that we share between us is so strong it's hard not to fall into each others arms every chance we get. Our kisses are so passionate; you're so beautiful, so soft and sexy and you kiss exactly the way I knew you would. Your lips and mouth are delicious, and I know I repeat myself over and over but I can't get enough of you: your beauty, your kindness, gracefulness, goodness, sweetness and intelligence, the whole package that is you is extraordinary. You are perfect in my eyes, we'd be perfect together.
"Our Kisses Become Longer, So Passionate, So Delicious"
Today, this morning, is a good example. I hear from you, I'm home and you stop by. We kiss: a long, splendidly delicious, warm, soft, delicate, so passionate of a kiss. We kiss again, and again, and some more. It's such a perfect moment in time for me, I tell you how wonderful it feels, how beautiful you are. Once again, I can't get enough of you. I know not to expect anyone back here for hours. Yet, you're worried someone else may walk in on us, so you say goodbye and ride off on your bike. I see you online later, you say hello, I want to tell you how much I care for you but don't because of the chance someone else may see my message. Our communication is worth the risk to me because of how much I want you to know I care for you, but it's dangerous for you because of your situation, so I don't write out my true feelings. Hopefully, I can hear from you tomorrow, have a few minutes on the phone with you. I hope so, Gorgeous.
27th & 28th Nights
"Shall We Begin Our Journey Together?"
I got my wish: I did hear from you the next day and every day since then, sometimes twice a day. The first call you said you "needed your fix", a line I've used whenever I am away from you for more than a day or so. Some of the calls were close to thirty minutes, we are connecting better than ever. I feel so blessed to have you want me in your life as much as I want you in mine, you are opening up more and more with every new day. I'm beginning to sense you not only feel closer to me, you also trust me and that's a wonderful feeling, knowing that you are trusting me with your thoughts, hopes, dreams and yes, your fantasies, too. In the meantime, I find myself in love with you more than ever, if that's even possible, because of it. We talk of what could be, what we want to be. My hopes are getting ever more higher, yet I wonder, will it ever really be? Will 'Us' truly become a reality?
"We Become 'Us', We Begin Our Bucket List"
We talked of so many things over the past few days, but two things stand out in my mind and I will state them here briefly, keeping the details between only us.
First, you told me you are 'consumed' with the thought of 'Us', as I am; you think of me constantly, as I do you. My darling, do you really have any idea just how much I love it when you think and talk like this? I have dreamed of the day when you would begin to think and feel what I have been feeling for you for years; to me this means my fantasy, my dream of you and me, 'Us', is moving ever so closer to coming true.
Second, you talked of how you would handle having a relationship with me with those who are closest to you. For that to happen, as I have written on these pages before, we would both have to be single. The fact that you are even thinking about this tells me you are perhaps considering a bold move, one that means stepping out of your comfort zone, one you've been in for many years. We have much more to discuss about this, for sure, but I'm happy that these thoughts cross your mind. I do believe for it to ever happen, I must make the first move, change my situation and lifestyle so that you'll know I'm serious about wanting to spend my life with you. Then and only then, I believe, will you even begin to start a move that will change your life forever. Just know that, should it happen, I will do anything for you, anything, for us to be happier than we've ever been in our lives, so very happy and in love, truly Soul mates.
During this past week, I did get to see you twice. Once, while riding your bike, you stopped briefly to say hello; others were near so we couldn't hug or touch, a kiss was out of the question. The second time we were out for the evening and together with a group. I was in a very playful mood and made you laugh, saw your captivatingly beautiful smile over and over that night. But, once again, there were so many others near, so a couple of quick touches and a hug goodnight was all we could manage but I watched you all night long, we had a few loving glances between us. You were beautiful, stunning, I couldn't take my eyes off of you. I wanted to take you in my arms and hold you for all eternity, but I could only dream of it while my heart was in my throat with the lovesickness I have for you all day, long for you everyday, knowing you are, at this moment in time, untouchable when others are around us. I long for another kiss, an embrace, a delicious moment in time with you. I do sense, however, that our day is coming closer and closer to being a reality, Gorgeous.
Today, I got my wish of last night: You alerted me to your presence in town, rode your bike to where I was, and we embraced; we kissed the most delicious, passionate, long, warm kiss. Over and over we kissed, we held each other, we caressed each other, we kissed some more. Your kiss, your lips, your mouth so sweet and warm, so soft and gentle, so perfectly delectable. "I could kiss you like this for hours", I said. You agreed. We could have gone on for hours, too, but of course we knew to stop. We sat outside, it was a beautiful day, and we talked of dreams of a life together. You said goodbye, we hugged, you rode off. I couldn't not be where you were knowing you were still in the area and I had some more time, so I drove to where I knew you'd be. When you saw me, I saw your eyes light up with that captivating, beautiful smile on your gorgeous face and we had several more minutes of conversation and looking deep into each others eyes. "Are you trying to look into my soul?" you asked. You know I am, I was, I always will try to look deeply into your very being; I want to consume all information I can about you, who you are, where you came from because I adore you and everything about you, Gorgeous.
"We Can't Get Enough Of Each Other"
Later, another phone call, more delightful conversation, we can't seem to get enough of each other. I love you thinking like this. I miss you when you've only been gone for a few seconds, I want you in my life, I need to be with you, I love you more and more every day. My fantasy of 'Us' coming closer and closer to being a reality makes me happier than I can ever remember, truly a dream come true of a life with my Genuine Gorgeous Girl.
29th & 30th Nights
"Missing Your Sweet Kisses"
Another lonely weekend night. As I sit and think, and drink, I feel empty like my life is bare, missing you, missing your sweet kisses, your beautiful smile and laugh, your extraordinary gorgeousness and personality. I got to see you two nights ago, with others. It was short, about two hours, but marvelous none the less because you were sitting across from me. At least I got a quick hug hello, a touch on the hand. It was excruciatingly torturous having you so close, but yet again, so far. I wanted to be able to spend the rest of the evening with you, even if it was with others, just so I could be in your company, but it was not to be so I went home and pretended I was holding you as I tried to drift off to sleep, knowing I had to get up very early. Sleep, however, wasn't on my mind's agenda, finally getting into bed after midnight. I laid there for at least an hour or more before I drifted off with the vision of your beautiful self in my arms.
Morning came much too early and I spent the day away from you, but having you on my mind and in my heart all day as usual. I do so love thinking and remembering all the hopes and dreams, the fantasies of 'Us' we discuss whenever we have a conversation. It's what gets me through the day until I hear from you or see you again. I texted you later in the day to see if you were going to be anywhere I could just 'happen to run into you'; you replied but wouldn't be available. Later you called me, telling me you missed me, were thinking of me, wanted to see me. But of course, it wasn't to be this night because of all the obstacles we face with others in our lives. I got a short, 'good night babe' text which was at least something, one of those little signs I ask for and enjoy because I know you're thinking of me.
Which brings me to today: not a word from you, not a text, a call, a sign, nothing. I know you told me you had something to do today but I was hoping I'd get some kind of hello, hi, how are you, something to let me know you're thinking of me. I know you were very busy all day, I assume you didn't have a minute to yourself to let me know what you were up to. I looked for you online, thinking you'd sign on to say hello or good night, but again, nothing. I know it's only been 24 hours since you last contacted me, but it feels like several days. I'll go to sleep tonight, late, very late, wondering how your day was, how you're doing, feeling, what you're planning for tomorrow. Because I haven't heard from you, my heartsickness has returned with a vengeance and I must remind myself it's only been a day since I heard from you. This emptiness, this feeling of having my heart in my throat tells me how much I truly do want you in my life, now and forever, Gorgeous.
"We Would Only Need Each Other"
I awoke this morning hoping I would hear from you as soon as you got into your car on your way to work. I didn't, my mind reaching back to last night and again wondering how your day was, your evening, how you're feeling. I thought about your day yesterday, spent with those close to you, and wondered if you decided 'Us' could never be. You'd continue to live a life of loveless unhappiness while surrounding yourself with those who would keep you occupied and thus content but with no romance, no spark, no closeness or bonding with someone who would truly adore you, put you up on a pedestal, love you for the complete feminine package that is so extraordinary: You and all that you are both inside and out, Gorgeous.
So once again, all morning, my heart was in my throat as I tried to make it through the day. As I've said before, 24 hours with no contact from you feels like days, weeks even. Finally, a call in the early afternoon. You were busy, couldn't get near the phone long enough to have any contact for the entire day yesterday. I told you I miss you but I understand; I 'get it, get you', to which you agreed. Second thoughts, guilty thoughts, are crossing your mind you said, you don't want to not see or talk to me but it's all so confusing, so frustrating. Again, I know, I 'get it'. We talked of dreams of 'Us', of what the future might bring, of what could have been. I'm now feeling much better because you called me but I know it's just all so difficult for you to handle at the moment. I wish we could have some quality time together, sharing our thoughts, dreams and fantasies of 'Us' while I'm actually holding you in my arms, caressing your soft cheek, stroking your beautiful hair and kissing your sweet lips and warm mouth gently, softly, but long and passionately, so in touch with each other, so in love, together, with my Genuine Gorgeous Girl.