2nd, 3rd and 4th Nights
“We Kiss At Sunset As The Crescent Moon Becomes Visible, Hearts Pounding ”
This is about ten days later…Again it’s late and I’m having a few drinks. I’ve worked some days, off others but have had contact with you. A couple of times I got a chance to talk to you on the phone, for just a few minutes. Time spent talking with you is never enough and every minute a treat: I do savor every second of your time that you share with me and I know I can't hide my complete pleasure whenever I see you in person. I get excited, giddy even, knowing our paths will cross. Sometimes it’s when I see you riding your bike, others when we’re together with friends but always I migrate to wherever you are, I can’t help myself. I wonder if anyone else sees it, but I believe I keep it pretty straight away above board around others. I want to just swoop you up in my arms, hold you ever so delicately, kiss you gently, softly, but long and passionately. Tenderly stroke your hair, your cheek, treat you like the lady you are. Damn I do so wish this could be a reality and not a fantasy.
You’re busy this week so we’ll have to hold off from our chance meetings while you take your daily bike ride and it kills me, cuts me right through my heart knowing you’re so close yet so far. I’m hoping our chance meetings will start again after this week. The only other way to have any contact with you is through the Internet and I find myself checking it several times during the day to see if you’re online. Sometimes we can chat briefly, other times we miss each other but always I look for a sign that you’re online too. I just love it when you respond to one of my messages. It truly is the highlight of my day when you do and such a letdown when you don’t. But always you’re in my heart, my mind, and my soul. I’m in love with the feeling of feeling like this and find myself falling truly, deeply and quite hopelessly in love with you. I adore you and everything about you, hoping, always hoping that my dream will become a reality. If it doesn’t so be it, I’ll survive, heart pounding whenever I see you but still in control. If it does happen one day then it was meant to be.
“We Kiss and Our Hearts Soar”
Another day has passed. I worked outside today; I left you a message to call me if you got a chance but you were busy and I didn’t hear from you. I needed my fix, wanted to hear your voice, your laugh. On this day, however, it was not to be. Maybe I’ll hear from you tomorrow.
5th & 6th Nights
“Our Longest Kisses Are Always Too Short”
Fantasy Girl: So Graceful, So Naturally Beautiful”
I saw you today, a total surprise. We
had a few minutes to converse before you continued on your bike ride.
I got to apologize in person for what I had written in the paragraph
above but you were okay with it. Then
I got to see your drop dead gorgeous smile and my day turned into a near perfect
one. Near perfect because fully perfect would be you and I
spending the rest of the day together. I
just love my fantasy girl! Then about an hour later I saw you were online and we had a brief chat
that continued to make me feel like a love-struck schoolboy once again.
A quick hello, a quick goodbye and you were gone as I snap back to
reality. Maybe I’ll get to see
you tomorrow? I sure hope so.
“We Embrace, We Become One, My Fantasy Becomes Reality”
So there it is, laid out for you to see in black and white, yet I hope my words are colorful enough to make you smile, feel that feel good feeling and know that I hold you close in my heart every second of every day. My fear would be my pushing you away because you think I’m being overly attracted to you and could make trouble for you. Only thing is, I can’t help myself for loving you but I would never let on about this to anyone but you. You’ve heard me say that silence is a friend, yet I cannot possibly be silent when it comes to you knowing how I feel about you. I have to tell you how I’m feeling, if I don’t the chance of this fantasy becoming reality is nonexistent. By you knowing, there is always that chance, that one hopeful chance that you would want me as much as I want you and would just cast your fate to the wind for it to be a reality. What a wonderful thought that is! You are, my dear dream girl, truly one amazing woman and I feel privileged to know you, even more so to call you my friend. Whenever you see me write or hear me say I’m “thinking of you” you’ll know I have these pages in mind, referring to my secret, my fantasy, my dream of you and yes, my Love, of us. I have fallen in love with you, Gorgeous, and I’m waiting for the day this dream comes true.
"My Fantasy Girl
Alone In The Full Moon Light"
Is she waiting for me?
Afterword / 7th Night
Since this was first written, I have been blessed with having you in my
presence numerous times; we’ve had messaging sessions and telephone
conversations. You’ve told me you
have felt this bond as I have; I’m on your mind a lot of the time. To hear it
from you makes me want to leap with joy, but more so, I want to reach out and
hold your graceful, gorgeous self in my arms, gently caressing your smooth
silkiness, tasting your sweet kisses. But
then, I awaken from my dream state and realize that it’s not time for that,
yet. I do feel it in my very being
that day will come, and when it does, no matter how hard I try, the words I can
think of will never convey the joy, the love, the complete and total happiness I
will feel knowing we have become ‘us’; not if I speak them or write them
would they be enough to express my delight.
time I spend with you is never enough, I don’t want to see you turn and go on
your way after only a few minutes, nor do I want to have you call only to have to
end the conversation quickly, but I know you must, for now. Seeing you or
hearing you, even if only for minutes, makes me feel so wonderful because you
have taken the time to reach out to me. That
you would even think of me as someone you’d want to spend time with is so
humbling because you are such a lady, so graceful, so beautiful, so kind and
know that when we are apart, wherever we are, whether alone or with others, I
see you in my mind, feel you in my heart and sense you have become a part of my
soul. I hear your wonderful angelic voice, singing, in my head all day and
night. I adore
you and everything about you. I
cannot ever get enough of you. It’s a wonderfully uplifting feeling to just be
near you, those few precious moments we are together whenever possible are what
drives me to want to see another day because on that day I may see you again.
That sight, my Love, of you smiling and walking towards me, and my
knowing I will be able to hug you, hold you, kiss you and breathe in the
sweetness of your scent is what will always have me wanting to come back for
more and more of you, my Genuine Gorgeous Girl, my Stunning Dream Girl, always
hoping my fantasy of you and 'Us' will become reality.
I can’t help myself, I do love you so.
I do believe by the few conversations we’ve been able to have we were
meant for each other and can’t wait for the day we can stay together.
8th, 9th & 10th Nights
"I Never Want to Stop Kissing You"
The troubling part in this whole situation is where you stand currently in your life, where I stand in mine, and whether or not ‘Us’ will ever come to be. By reading these pages, you know where I stand. Often I wonder about your feelings. But then you write things like ‘thinking of you’, ‘miss you’, ‘I’ll see you in my dreams’, ‘I want you to be happy’; when I get to see you for those brief, ever so short one on one meetings you tell me ‘we’re a perfect fit’, ‘what could have been’, ‘I have you on my mind all the time’, ‘there’s so much I want to say’. Darling, do you have any idea, any idea at all of just how my heart pounds, how I yearn for your company when I read and hear you say those wonderfully uplifting words? How is it, with all of the men in this world, I have been so blessed as to have you pick me as someone you’d like to spend your time with, should that perfect day ever arrive? That, my love, is the most touching part in all of this and I am sincerely thankful. I would never, ever, let you down should we be able to become a loving partnership, a happy couple, you and me, ‘Us’.
I do miss you so very much. My heart is in my throat as I type this because it's been almost 24 hours since I heard your voice on the phone, about 48 hours since I saw you briefly in person, so stunningly beautiful, so naturally gorgeous, smiling that captivating smile.
another truly wonderful thing has happened between us: we’ve been able to talk
on the phone everyday! At least
during the week we can. Sometimes it is 5 minutes, others 10, 11, even 24 or 25
minutes a couple of times. I wonder if
I’m taking up all of your lunchtime when we talk; I don’t want to seem
selfish when you need that time to eat and maybe relax for a few minutes but I
do love it when you call and don’t want to hear you say you have to go.
Why? Well mostly it’s
because I know I probably won’t get to see you at all and won’t get to hear
your voice again until the next day if I’m lucky.
I wonder if you really understand just how amazing I think it is that
you, in all of your gorgeousness, both inside and out, would want to spend time
with me, whether on the phone or in person.
I do know, however, that I could make you very happy and perhaps I convey
that to you. I hope so anyway, yet
I also hope I’m not being too aggressive or overbearing so that I would push
you away, I just want you to know where I stand, how my heart aches for you, all
day, every day.
“Truly, Totally Missing You”