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  31st - 32nd Nights

"Tell Me What You're Feeling, Wanting, Needing"


Thirty-First Night...


 I got a chance to see you for a few minutes in the early evening.  You, as usual, were absolutely stunning, gorgeous, a treat for my eyes, my soul.  Your smile, your gracefulness and your warmth filled my heart with so much love, more than I have felt for any woman, ever.  Then your laugh and that marvelous happiness you possess whenever we are together put the finishing touches on what became, for me, another moment frozen in time.  I will always remember that meeting, not because we kissed or held each other, (which we didn't, we were in a public place) but because of the connection, that looking into each other's eyes and hearts and knowing that our day will come, we will become 'Us', a loving, happy, inseparable couple, hopefully sooner rather than later.  It's a wonderfully uplifting feeling and even now as I write this four days later, I find myself smiling whenever I think of those few minutes because you were feeling it too and I love you wanting and needing what I do.  Our catch phrase has always been "Miss You" when we aren't together and I find you're saying it as much as I am lately.  My heart melts when I hear you say those words, my Love. I don't think you really get how I do miss you, feel so empty and lonely, whenever we aren't together.

  We've been able to talk every day again, at least twice a day for the past few days. I love our talks.  Sometimes in conversations people use the word love ( love my car, love that store, love that song, etc.) but I can tell you that I do absolutely LOVE it when we can talk and I get to hear you say some of the wonderful things you tell me: what you're feeling, thinking, wanting, needing and knowing that in the middle of all of it is me along side of you, 'Us', together, a loving couple and that it's starting to become a part of your dreams and fantasies, too.  I mentioned earlier you seem to be trusting more and more, opening up to me.  To me, the best thing about that is knowing that a relationship of any kind, whether a friendship or something more, must have trust.  Without trust there is no relationship at all.  By trusting each other,  we'll always be able to get over any obstacles that we may come across.  I'll always hold your trust close to me, never will I break this bond we are building stronger and stronger between us every day. 


 "I Love Hearing Your Thoughts, Your Hopes, Your Dreams"


  Once again we were together, with a group, but still able to see each other.  You were sitting across from me and I was able to take in all of your beauty, have some light small talk but always cautiously aware of where we are and who we're with.  By the end of the night and after a few drinks we had to really be careful, yet, as we looked into each other's eyes I felt that strong connection, that bond, that longing between us of how we wished circumstances were so much different so we could venture into that next part of our journey together.  We said goodnight and once again I went home, and while not alone physically I was so terribly lonely without you in my arms as I drifted off to sleep, seeing your gorgeous face and smile, dreaming of 'Us'.

  Another night, another place, together again with a group.  Again, I was sitting directly across from you, taking  in your beauty and your gracefulness.  Our eyes met a few times, it was hard to stay fixed on you with so many others able to see what was going on. When we weren't making eye contact I was glancing at you as often as I could, just happy to be able to see what I've been saying since I started this: you are drop dead gorgeous, a vision of beauty, stunning. There was something amiss this night however:  I felt a strangeness about us that I've never felt before, you seemed out of sorts, worried, stressed out.  I've been thinking back on those moments and don't think it was anything I said or did, at least I hope not.  Later, we all migrated to another place and met up with more friends in a crowd of people.  As the night progressed we made eye contact a few times, but it felt like you weren't comfortable for some reason.  Again, I hope it's not something I said or did.  I'll ask you tomorrow, in the meantime just know that I'm here for you always for whatever you may need, Gorgeous. 

  So it's the end of another weekend.  It's getting late, I haven't heard from you today but I'm getting used to it because of the caution we must take to keep others unaware.  It's difficult, though, because there are ways that can be used to let me know you're thinking of me that wouldn't be discovered by anyone. A quick hello, an emoticon or a short text would make my day and keep my heart out of my throat.  I'll just have to wait until tomorrow to sort it out, get an idea of how your day was today; I hope you're missing me as much as I'm missing you.

"Keep Me Warm, Hold Me, Love Me"

  It's raining out and it's cold. My mind drifts off, to a wonderland of  'Us', a fantasy world where you and I spend these dreary nights inside, together, warm and toasty, snuggled together, entwined in a loving embrace of blissful happiness and oneness, melded together as we should be, kissing softly, gently touching and caressing, sharing whispered secrets not only on this night, but every night for the rest of our lives.  Oh how I miss you this night, my Genuine Gorgeous Girl.



Thirty-Second Night...


  It's actually the next day, night won't fall until about four hours from now.  It's still raining, harder than it has all day.  I remember when we first started conversing on the phone, I said to you, "Did you walk outside and make this beautiful day that much more gorgeous with your presence?"  You laughed and I could see your mesmerizing smile if I closed my eyes. It was only a few months ago and it was all so new, so exciting and we were beginning to find so much common ground between us.  I fell in love with you more than I thought was possible; all things about you were, to my eyes, heart and mind, perfect.  But today is not a beautiful day and even if you walked outside and smiled your captivating smile while looking skyward it would stay dreary.   Why?  The sky is crying, tears of sadness are falling, the world weeps because something that could have been truly beautiful between us, something that even Mother Nature herself knew should come to be is, alas, disintegrating before her very eyes.  It seems our fantasyland happiness is coming to an end, the spell has been broken and winter has fallen onto our too short but oh so wonderful relationship.


"I'm Starting To Wonder: How Did I Live Without You?"


  I just got off the phone with you and I'm worried about your well being, mentally that is.  Once again, or maybe still, you're having second thoughts; guilty thoughts are crossing your mind, confusing, frustrating, stressful thoughts.  I'm sorry to have put you through this, I don't have an answer other than to break off contact with you and that's unacceptable to me.  I've told you what I want to do, I would hope you'd know I'm sincere when I actually carry out my plan.  For us to be a couple, we'd have to both be single, that was known a while back.  When I am, I wonder, will you come too?  Probably not in the beginning, maybe not ever but you will know I'll hold to my word if I tell you something.  That's worth, to me at least, a continuation of our friendship, if nothing else.  Strangely, I feel calm, don't have that lump in my throat, that feeling of  lovesickness, not yet anyway.  I believe it's because I want you to rest easy, not feel pressured by my thinking or feelings about and for you.  Stress and worry is a bad thing, I don't want to make it even worse than what you already have in your day to day living.  


"I'll See You In My Dreams, Gorgeous"


  This entire document has been about hopes and dreams, a fantasy world built around the idea that you and I would become a loving couple, entwined and joined together by a common bond of wanting someone who thinks, feels and does things pretty much the same way, always close and fully in love with one another, melded into one being.  It appears it may have been too much for you to handle with all the others and situations in your life.  I hope you'll continue to stay in contact, stay friends, stay close.  If not, it's a shame, I could be the best friend you ever had.  I still want to be.  I suppose there is no point in continuing to write about you and to you so I'll give it a rest, for now.  Perhaps I did exactly what I didn't want to do: I pushed you too far, too fast and you weren't ready.  Just remember I'll always be here for you, continue my secret crush and my loving you, adoring you and everything about you, never, ever getting enough of you or your company, your beauty, kindness, caring, graceful, ladylike, funny, intelligent and compassionate, sexy self, my Darling, my Love, my Genuine Gorgeous Girl. I only wish I could have kissed you one more time.


"Just One More Kiss..."




I miss you so much already, it's been less than an hour since we spoke...  


33rd & 34th Nights

 "Our Day Will Come"


Thirty-Third Night...


  Two days ago I thought 'Us' had come to an end, at least for a while until you got your thoughts in order, so I said I wouldn't write to or for you, it was pointless to do so.  I really thought you had decided you just couldn't go on with this any longer even though 'this' was not an illicit love affair. To the contrary:  it was as pure and wholesome as it could possibly be, you were 'not like that' and I never pushed it, never allowed myself to try and cross that line.  Don't think I didn't want to, as drop dead gorgeous as you are, but your graceful, ladylike demeanor kept us in check and should 'Us' ever happen, I know we both want it to be beautiful and fresh. 

  I was sad, of course, heartbroken, but if it was to be the best thing for you and your well being, then it had to be so.  Never had I intended  my writing out my feelings to have taken such a toll on you. I had taken down '31st & 32nd Nights' because after I re-read the page it sounded so depressing, so bleak.  I had also rewritten '29th & 30th Nights' to make it sound not so forlorn either.  Why, I thought, dwell on so much sadness when what we had together was so beautiful, so uplifting, so, yes, so GORGEOUS!  Think of the positive, I thought, that's what counts the most, think of all the good things and times, no reason to be depressed.  We laughed hundreds of times together, maybe more.

  Then, you called.  Twice.  We talked, trying to sort out our feelings, our thinking, where we are heading.  Today, you called again, twice, and it appears we are back on track again. Once again I feel the happiness in my very being that I felt when I first told you I had a 'secret crush' on you several years ago and your response was so positive, as if you'd been waiting for me to say those words ever since our paths first crossed.  We discussed many things this day, including why I took down 31 and 32; you had already seen them and asked why, if that's how I was feeling at the time, did I think it necessary to take them down?  You also said when you can't get in touch with me, for what ever reason,  you turn to these pages to see what I'm thinking, feeling, wanting or needing.  These pages are all about just that: I want you to read them so you'll know what's in my mind, heart and soul; even when we can't talk, can't be together, you'll still know what I'm feeling and that's a good thing, you can see what I'm thinking and feeling with your own eyes. If I'm happy, you'll know it, if I'm sad or depressed, you'll know that, too. 

  So, I put 29 - 30 back to the way it was written originally and put 31 - 32 back up, slightly edited at your request. I also consolidated the pages so there wouldn't be so many links to click on.  I'll continue to write to, for and about you, my Genuine Gorgeous Girl.  Welcome back, my Darling, 48 hours was way too long without you in my life. You said you miss me.  I miss you too, Gorgeous.

  This is the same night, a few hours later.  I've been thinking back on what you said today in your second call. I won't repeat what we discussed on these pages but let me say this, put this one in writing:  

  Never have I found any woman with whom I'd want to spend my every waking hour, never taking a break or some alone time so I could be away from you.  I want to be with you always.  Nor have I found a woman I want to hold in my arms every second we're both asleep so that when we awaken we can begin the new day in a loving embrace. I want you beside me for all time. I want to gaze upon your natural beauty, taste your sweet kisses, breathe in your delicious scent, touch your warm softness and hear you tell me how much you love me as I'm telling you how much I love you. I hope that time comes sooner rather than later.  We are up against some terrific odds with so many hurdles to get over, so many others who will be opposed to 'Us' ever happening. I want this with you and only you. There is no other, I love you and only you, Gorgeous.


"Really, What Did I Think About?"

Thirty-Fourth Night...


    It's again late into another weekend and as I sit here thinking, writing and missing you more than I've ever missed anyone in my life, I'm finding myself turning my schedule around in a way I never thought would be possible: I'm now looking forward to Mondays because I'll have contact with you and for the rest of the week.  Not all weekends can we get to see each other, for various reasons.  Sometimes, like this weekend, I don't or can't see you at all.  I'll get a short text or two from you, letting me know you're thinking of me and I love it when I see those messages from you, truly, absolutely love those little texts.  Of course, it's so much better on the weekends when we can actually SEE each other, even in a crowd or group because then I can gaze at your gorgeous self, touch you, breathe in your sweet fragrance and talk to you during the course of the night, maybe even sneak a quick kiss. That's a yummy thought! 

   This weekend was not to be that way however, I was busy heading in one direction and you in another and I've got to tell you Gorgeous: my heart aches for you. I sent you a generic message early into the weekend thinking you might call me to discuss 'business' and I'd be able to hear your lovely voice and wonderful laugh, but you didn't or couldn't and I understand. So many times during the course of this weekend I wanted to contact you, a message, text or phone call but I know I mustn't so I didn't. Just know that I carried you with me all weekend both while awake and while sleeping, in my heart, my mind and my very being.  Everything I did, everything I saw had a connection to you, my fantasy dream girl is always with me. I know I will eventually hear from you, hopefully Monday morning, but in the meantime I miss you so much, Gorgeous. 

  I'd like to be where you are at this very moment, holding you, caressing and kissing you, but I'm not so I'll have to close my eyes, see your drop dead gorgeous face and smile and dream of your sweet, warm kisses and the time when we become 'Us'.  What a wonderful thought as I close out for the night, head up to bed, drift off to sleep with you in my mind, heart, soul and dreams as I look forward to Monday morning and hearing your beautiful voice. Loving you is such a wonderfully pleasant sensation, Gorgeous. 

  35th & 36th Nights


"Thinking of You"


Thirty-Fifth Night...


  I talked to you two days in a row.  They were pleasant, very warm phone conversations, again I feel we connected and became that much more close with each other.  I know I've said it before but I do absolutely love our talks, the only thing that could possibly make them better would be if we could have them in person, one on one, together. Two days since then feels like a week to me now.  I did get a text today and I thank you for that. Something else I've said before is how much I love those little signs you send me to let me know you're thinking of me, it warms my heart to know you took the time to contact me and I imagine your gorgeous, captivating smile in my mind when you receive my reply. 

 You were with those closest to you all day, as was I; earlier I took a walk, alone, following along part of the route you use when you're riding your bike.  It wasn't a power walk, it was more of a moderately paced, leisurely stroll.  I looked at every building, fence post, tree, plant, crack in the sidewalk, everything that you may have seen, touched, tread upon or rode over along the way.  I sat on the bench where you and I talked a few times earlier this year. In my mind I pictured your beautiful face and your lovely smile, trying to wish you there with me, but of course I was in the real world, not my fantasy land where I can make you materialize whenever I want.  It's so much fun, though, to think of you and try to make you appear out of thin air as if I could really do that. If I could, I'd only do it one time, once you turned up I'd make sure you stayed with me forever, never would I let you go away from me. 

"Wishing You Were With Me"

  I saw some real estate for sale along my path. I thought about how romantic it would be for the two of us to live in such a cozy place, to the point where I actually looked it up online later to see the cost and whether it would suit our needs.  Just another day dream, another fantasy of  'Us' and how, should my dream of our becoming a loving couple come true, we'd live out the rest of our lives together, so happy, so in touch with one another, so in love, me in love with my Genuine Gorgeous Girl and her in love with me.

  So now, I sit here late at night, alone of course, having a few drinks, thinking, writing and missing you, wanting you here with me, needing you here, wondering how we can manage to have a few minutes together, just us alone, so I can hold you in my arms, stroke your beautiful, soft hair and kiss your sweet, delicious warm lips and mouth, gently, softly, but long and passionately. It is thoughts like these that keep me upbeat and positive, marvelous thoughts of  when that day, our day comes and we do become 'Us', Gorgeous. 


"Missing  You"

Thirty-Sixth Night...


  I start this in the early afternoon of a long weekend, three days after '35'.  Somewhere, not so far away, you are going about your weekend routine, perhaps with family or friends but definitely without me. I was hoping to see you two nights ago, we even communicated back and forth for a time. It was not to be however, our paths didn't cross that night. It's been two weeks since I've seen you, five days since I've heard your sweet voice, two days without any contact.  Oh, Gorgeous, how I do miss you when we aren't in touch with each other for whatever reason.

  Yesterday afternoon I rode by your house.  No cars in the driveway, I assumed you all went in different directions for the day.  When I came back by in the other direction, one car was home but yours was not. Shopping? Visiting those close to you? I can only speculate. I do wish there was a way we could communicate on the weekends, discretely, secretly without calling attention to ourselves from others.  In the meantime, I'll sit and write, dreaming of the day when all of this is unnecessary because I have you in my arms listening to your innermost secrets while you listen to mine, gazing at and caressing your beautiful, drop dead gorgeous self, kissing your delicious, sweet lips and mouth, inhaling that delightful fragrance that is you.  Oh my, how I do love to try and wish you into the room, whatever room I'm in at the time, a fantasy of you and me forever in my mind, heart and soul as my eyes are closed and I try to make you magically appear. I can dream can't I, Gorgeous?

  Several times in the past few days I was online, I had missed you once by twelve minutes, another time by about the same and other times you were on when I was at the time but didn't acknowledge my presence so I can only assume there were others nearby and you couldn't or wouldn't chance it.  My hope, my wish, is that you are missing me as much as I'm missing you.  Hopefully, I'll find out tomorrow.  I know this day is for family and I'm sure you are busy with them, maybe spending time with the younger ones, showing the kind, caring, patient, motherly mannerisms that is one more reason why I love you so.  In the meantime, I feel so empty, lonely, lost without you.  Once again I must restate the obvious:  never in my life have I felt the need, have I wanted to be with someone every second of my life.  I want to be with you forever, Gorgeous.

   37th & 38th Nights


"My Midnight Confessions"


Thirty-Seventh Night...


  It's midweek, well after midnight, closing in on one am.  We've talked on the phone four days straight, at least twice a day, once three times.  I'm in heaven: our talks are becoming much more personal, you're opening up to me a little at a time, cautiously; you're hoping, wondering if I can keep a secret.  My Darling, as I said on the phone, anything you say to me will go with me to my grave, I'll never give you up about anything you tell me, ever.  I want to be your best friend, someone who will always be by your side and take your side about anything you do, anywhere, anytime, always protecting you from any harm, holding your secrets tightly inside my very being.  Even though you are a practical, independent woman, one who can take care of herself, I want you to know that I'm always going to be close by, whenever and if ever you need me for any reason.

  During the course of our talks you stated exactly what I asked above in '36': you are missing me as much as I miss you. That's another reason I'm in heaven this night: to hear you say those words make my heart melt.  I've said it before, I know, but it's worth repeating.  To know that you feel that way makes me feel so good inside, makes me smile every time I think about what you say to me.  I'm totally, head over heels all about you and everything you are: so beautiful both inside and out, such a wonderful person; it's a pleasure and a privilege to know your graceful, gorgeous self  and I'm so lucky, so fortunate to have you in my life.

  I was so pleased when I got a chance to see you for about fifteen minutes; we haven't seen each other for over two weeks.  You were absolutely stunningly gorgeous!  You were happy to see me too.  All we did was smile and giggle like a couple of pre-teens, but it felt so good to have that happiness for a few minutes.  I told you how beautiful you are and you, of  course, said you "really aren't, but thank you".  I've always wondered why the most beautiful women I've come across always play down their beauty.  You have to know, every time you look in a mirror, that you are drop-dead gorgeous, totally stunning, a treat for anyone who sees you, beautiful, lovely, all of the above and to me, the most beautiful and graceful of all women, hands down number one in my book, truly amazing. Again I have to say I just can't get enough of you and everything about you. My Love, I do adore you so.

  We hugged briefly when we first met, I wanted to hold you, kiss you, never let go of you, but, again, we were in a public place and that wasn't possible.  Just having those few minutes with you, though, was the highlight of my week, another one of those moments I'll always remember and cherish, not only because we were together but because of the connection between us, the looking into each other's eyes, into our hearts and souls. One day, our day will come and I'll be able to hold you, kiss you, never let go of you any time and any place, not only because I want to but because you'll want me to, there will be no reason to try and hide our love for each other.  I love the thought of  'Us' being able to show our affection in public if we so chose.  I really can't get over just how absolutely beautiful you were, I mean, I know you're beautiful, but this day you were off the charts, mesmerizing and stunning.  Your smile was so dazzling!  I couldn't take my eyes off you, I never want to take my eyes off you, Gorgeous.

  The next morning, another call from you and you once again told me how happy you feel whenever you get to see me, how you think about what it will be like when we are together. I love you thinking like that!  I also have those same thoughts and feelings and can hardly contain myself sometimes.  Whenever I have the urge to write about you or to you, I know I always talk of holding you, kissing you and loving you.  I do that because, well for one thing of course, I want to! But there are also so many day to day things that we could and would do because we have so much in common, I don't elaborate on these pages so as not to give us away to prying eyes.  You get why, I know.  The everyday things we will do together will be that much more enjoyable because we will want to do them together, make it all so much fun.  That is another reason why I feel this way: wanting you in my life, needing you in it, loving you for who you are and always missing you when we aren't together. 

  As I sit here and type this, my heart feels as if it couldn't possibly hold another ounce of  love for you. Everyday more of that love fills my heart and one day it will all be released on you, a pent up, perfect storm of  blissful, delightful and heavenly happiness as we are able to embrace in a harmonious meld of oneness and stay together for all time, my Genuine Gorgeous Girl and me. 


"Home For The Night"

Thirty-Eighth Night...


  I was out and about and ran into you over the weekend.  Since we frequent the same places, it wasn't a surprise.  You were with a group, in a crowd, I came in with a different group.  We saw each other and exchanged pleasantries, a quick hug hello; I managed an even quicker whispered "You look great!" and then I sat in a different area of the room.  You were once again, as usual, or should I say still, stunningly gorgeous, absolutely beautiful.  And again, as usual, I wanted to swoop you up in my arms and hold you, kiss you, never let go of you but of course couldn't.  I watched you as you made the rounds, talking, joking and laughing with friends.  My eyes followed you all night, as discretely as possible, seeing every move and everywhere you went; on this night you were so confident, so comfortable with yourself and so damn sexy or so it seemed.  Were you?  I wanted to come sit with you but didn't because of others with you, I didn't want to cause any kind of stressful pressure on you or upset you in any way so I kept my distance.  I dream of the day, delight in the fantasy of when I never have to keep my distance from you because you'll always want me to be with you, beside you, holding you, caressing you, loving you as you are loving me.

  My group decided to head over to another place; we hesitated for a few minutes, trying to catch your attention, and your friends, but you were otherwise occupied with each other so we left without having a chance to say goodbye, good night.  I thought you may have come there too but you didn't, so I assumed you finished out your night where you were and headed home for the evening.  It was a rainy, cold and windy night and as I was driving home, I was thinking about how wonderful it would be if you were in the car with me, heading home together and how, once we got there and got ready to turn in for the evening, we would go to bed, make love until, exhausted, we fell asleep, you in my arms, warm, cuddled up, the last vision I see being your beautiful face aglow with the happiness of  'Us' as we drift off and dream happily of our love for each other.  Oh, how I do so wish this wonderful fantasy of my Genuine Gorgeous Girl could soon become a reality.  I really miss your warmth on this dreary, cold night, Gorgeous.  

     39th & 40th Nights

"Christmas Walk With My Genuine Gorgeous Girl"


Thirty-Ninth Night...


  It's two weeks since I wrote '38'.  I've spoken with you on the phone many times, enjoyed your lovely voice and infectious laugh but have seen you only three times, although one, while short, was marvelous because I was able to gaze at your beautiful face and tell you how gorgeous you are, inhale that exquisite fragrance that is so you, hold you ever so close and kiss you gently, softly, passionately and as long as I possibly could.  That, my love, was heavenly, what I live for.  I love to hold you and kiss you to the point where I can hardly wait for the next time, whenever that may be (always hoping the next time is seconds away).  I dream of the day when there will be no wait, we'll be able to hold, hug, caress and kiss whenever, wherever and as often as we want. 

  I once again walked the part of the route you take while riding your bike.  It was cold so I walked briskly, always aware of where you may have gone, what you may have seen or touched, aware of everything you may have encountered along the way.  It was an overcast day but dry, I envisioned you and me walking together while it was snowing until we turned and headed for home to get warm again, settle in for the rest of the evening. Our little hideaway is still for sale; a wonderful dream of a place where you and I can spend our days and nights snuggled and cozy, whispering secrets, making love and making up for lost time and all the years we should have been together.

  Later in the evening, I ran into you.  You were with others as was I;  stunningly beautiful, as always and I must say as my eyes followed you into the room I find it hard to believe the whole place doesn't just stop when you show up and watch your graceful entrance.  I was able to say hello and have a bit of small talk but I wanted to hold you close, kiss you softly and tell you how gorgeous you looked.  It's another dream, a fantasy of the day when I will be able to do just that, the only difference being you'll walk into the room with  Me by your side.  As I type this I see you're online but won't or can't contact me because others may see. I understand but it's frustrating to know you're so close yet oh so far away from me. 

"You're My Beautiful Christmas Fantasy Love"

  The holiday season is upon us.  You'll be spending time with those closest to you as will I and we'll probably not see each other very much over the course of the next two weeks.  While that's a sad thought, I'm okay with it because I know once the season is over and we return to our normal daily routine I'll get to talk to you again on a regular basis.  In the meantime, enjoy the time with your loved ones.  You know that I'd be right there with you all day, every day if I could.  I miss you tonight, Gorgeous. Merry Christmas. 


Fortieth Night...


  It's Christmas Eve and while I saw you a few days ago, briefly, I haven't been able to talk freely with you for six days.  I remember a conversation we had a couple of weeks ago when you mentioned how you would be 'melancholy' over the holidays, not because you aren't fond of the Christmas season, but because you wouldn't be able to see or talk to me.  I'm feeling that right now as I'm missing you more than I ever felt was possible, and believe me, I've felt like there was no one else on the planet at times whenever I've been away from you for any length of time and the loneliness sets in.  To be able to see your beautiful face, hear your lovely voice, inhale your delicious fragrance, touch your softness and taste your sweet kisses at this moment would be so heavenly, but it's not to be on this Christmas so I sit and type, dream and fantasize of the day when I can and will be with you, not only at Christmas but always.

  The rain continues to fall steadily, and while it's warm for late December, I'm cold with loneliness, needing to be with you, wanting to be holding you in my arms, missing you desperately and so in love with you, who you are and everything about you, totally adoring you.  The reality is I feel this way, the truth is you're not here with me.  The dream and the fantasy comes when I close my eyes and see us together, the hope is that day will come sooner rather than later.  It's that hope, that one day we will become 'Us' that keeps me afloat, always thinking positively that our day will come.

"Kiss Me Under the Mistletoe"

  In my dreams of you at Christmas we meet and kiss under the mistletoe, a delicious, sweet, warm, soft and gentle but lengthy kiss, holding and caressing each other, a shared moment of joyful bliss of togetherness, of oneness.  In every room, in every doorway, hangs mistletoe; we kiss under each one...

What is more joyful than to be sharing a precious moment with you?

To be able to share two precious moments with you of course.

And then a third to reflect on how wonderful the first two were.

Add a fourth for knowing we will share another and another.

Any time spent with you is forever timeless and precious.


Time spent kissing you is the best moment of all.


 Without you, hours seem like days, weeks like months. I miss you more than any words written on any page could ever convey but I continue to carry you in my heart as always. Merry Christmas, Gorgeous.



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