"You're So Lovely By The Full Moon Light"
Tonight the Full 'Buck' Moon shines beautifully. I dream the photo above is of you and me, standing on the beach holding each other close with the full moon rising in the east. Moonlight dances around us as the warm water laps at our feet, your silky hair glistens with the same moonlight as I look into those beautiful eyes of yours and whisper how gorgeous you are just before we kiss our longest, deepest, most passionate kiss of the evening with many more to come. It's only the beginning of another glorious night of wanting, needing and loving you. I can never get enough of you, your beauty, your company, your everything. In my eyes you are this night, as you are every night, perfect.
It's mid-July, the days are longer so we have more time to spend together exploring and sharing all of those wonderful things we've talked about: day trips, weekend getaways, nature trails, bike rides. We enjoy the coolness of our mountain cabin getaway or the hot, sunny days at beach. Either way, we're always together. The summer nights we share are tender, gentle, passionate embraces of blissful lovemaking lasting hours. As we drift off to sleep in each others arms we dream pleasant dreams of 'Us' knowing tomorrow will be more of the same. Happiness, a feeling that once eluded both of us, has found a place in our lives and we wonder why we waited so long for it to find us. But it has, finally, and we share a bond that cannot be broken. It's euphoric, it's exciting and it's unmistakable. We belong together and we know it. We truly are Soulmates.
When the dream I just described comes true it will be well worth the wait because, my Love, it will mean we are finally together, our day has come as I've wished it would for several years. Every second of the day would be cherished because I know you'll be right there with me. All these wonderful thoughts of our togetherness would become the 'dream come true' I've always wished for when it came to you and 'Us'. I do love you so, Gorgeous.
"A Dream For Two"
Oil on canvas by Gogalniceanu Carolina, 2013
"My Dream Of 'US' As We Should Be'"
It's mid-Summer. We've had some times we were able to spend together, with others of course, but they have been few and far between. I've seen you riding your bike a couple of times but never had the chance for some alone time with you. Always there is someone else right there to make it impossible. Phone calls are also scarce; I understand why but still miss the sound of your lovely voice. I miss you when you're not near me which is almost always these days, I long for your sweet kisses not having any for months. It's said that good things come to those who wait, if true the wait for you is well worth the time spent without you but I do feel like everyday that goes by without you fully in my life is a wasted day.
I started this night well over a month ago. Always something else was happening, I never had time to sit and write without interruptions. Usually when I begin a new "night" I continue on until I finish, this one was different. My mind is filled with the vision of your loveliness perpetually, yet I can't seem to put my brain and my writing hand on the same plane here lately. I think it may be because you told me you haven't been visiting the website or maybe it's just writer's block. Whatever it is just know you're always, and I mean always, on my mind, in my heart and in my very being. I know I've said it before but I want you to hear/see it again.
I've been able to see you many times but never alone. We've talked on the phone, everyday possible and those conversations are the highlight of my day. I love to hear your voice, thoughts, ideas, dreams, hopes, needs and wants. I love to hear you tell me of your day, I feel so included in your life when you do. I know you're having a rough time lately, my wish is to be able to come to you, hold you, comfort you and tell you all is well as long as we're together. Still, as always, I believe our day will come and we'll be together, so happy, forever.
We were able to spend several days together, will others of course, but it was wonderful: to be able to see you, so beautiful, to sneak a touch or a hug was exciting and I loved every minute we were together. I absolutely hated it when it all ended and we had to get back to reality but the memory and the vision I have of your beauty, your kindness and total gorgeousness of you and our time together will forever be burned into my memory and my soul. Oh Gorgeous, I do love you so!
"You Catch My Eyes, Heart and Soul"
"This Should Be Us, Gorgeous"
Well, my Love, my Darling Genuine Gorgeous Girl, that most dreaded of days has arrived: The phone call I so look forward to turned out to be, on this day, the last, at least for the foreseeable future and I am crushed. So many others need you, your time, your attention. I am the one you must let go, the one you must hurt even though you know, in your heart, I'm the one who would always be there for you, always by your side, your Soulmate, your everything. Happiness, total blissful happiness of our togetherness apparently cannot take place at this time in your life. I have told you, promised you, sworn to you, that I would give up my way of life as it now stands if you were to contact me and say "I'm ready". I've dreamt of those words spoken by you, longed for that day, felt exuberance at the very thought of you saying them to me. But now, just the opposite has happened and I sit here, I drink, I pine for you and I'm devastated. I carry my heart in my throat. My tears I let no one see. My love for you is constant, your beauty is always there when I close my eyes. The memories, what few we have, will never fade, never disappear. I understand exactly why it couldn't happen because I 'get you', I know you, I have lived every second of every day since we started this for you and only you.
The last time we were together was too brief. As you were walking away for what was, for now, the final glimpse I have of you, you turned and said "thank you for making me feel special". My response "you are special" wasn't quite thorough enough. Through all of this, the things I said and did wasn't to make you feel special, I did it because you should be reminded, as I've said on these pages before, that you are the most beautiful woman I've ever come across, bar none, both inside and outside. I wonder sometimes if you really know, I mean really know, just how much I love you and all that you are. So many times I've wanted to just swoop in and carry you off to where the two of us could live out our fantasy life together. Oh Gorgeous, what could have been. I'll never give up on you coming to me, I'll never give you up.
I miss you so much this night...
"Memories of 'US' "
Seventy Fourth Night...
I find myself looking for you in the early evenings. I search the familiar paths you follow when you ride your bike hoping to see you, your smile, hear your voice, your laugh. You haven't been there though or else you're there when I'm not. I've gone out on the weekend thinking maybe our paths would cross like they used to but, once again, you weren't there. During the week I turn on the phone hoping for a message or a call, just a hello, miss you, anything. No calls or texts. So, I suppose for now, it really is over, still it would be nice to hear from you. Maybe this week will be different and I'll be able to see your gorgeous little self. I really miss you, Baby. I miss our sharing of our days, our thoughts and dreams. Sweet dreams, my Love. You're always with me.
"It's So Lonely Without You In My Life"
"Kissing You Under The Hunter's Moon"
Well my Love, after three long weeks I finally got to see you for a few minutes. You were riding your bike, I saw you and managed to catch your attention. The things you said to me, those wonderful words will stay with me forever. I miss you too, Darling, more than words on this page can convey. You were so beautiful even in work out attire as you always are. I was quick to tell you just how gorgeous you are, as I do whenever I see you. I tell you over and over, yet you always seem to just kind of shrug it off as if I don't really mean it. Well I do, you are and I'll tell you every time I see you until the day comes when I can't speak any longer.
I saw you again for several hours, with a group of course. It was so wonderful having you there but once again we were so close yet so far. I only wanted a few minutes of alone time with you; since I couldn't get it I had too many drinks to compensate for my misery. It felt ok at the time but it didn't take away the pain I feel of not having you in my life every day. I truly do need you in my life, I want you in it. Forever.
This past weekend I got to see you again for several hours, in a group as usual. This time it was you who had a few too many and I was wondering if it was because you were feeling a bit of depression about not having me in your life. I can dream, can't I?
As I write this the full moon, the Hunter's Moon, shines brightly. I look to the heavens, close my eyes and dream of holding you close, feeling your warmth, kissing you long yet softly, gently but oh so passionately. My fantasy of 'US' will continue until the realization of our togetherness becomes a reality. Even though I feel shut out of your life for now, I know our day will come.
To close out this night: I miss you every second, I want you with me always, I need you in my life forever, I love you now and will for eternity. Never have I felt like this about anyone. Sweet dreams, Gorgeous.
"Thinking of You..."
I've been lax about writing to and about you, I was beginning to wonder just what the point would be. As time has passed over the last few months and winter has set in, seeing you has become all too rare. I did get to talk to you on the phone for a few minutes at Christmas and again on New Year's Eve but haven't seen you for months. I do wish it could be so different but I know it must be this way. Oh Gorgeous, I miss you so! I want you in my life, I need you in it. This night the writing won't be very lengthy, I just want you to know I'm still here and will be always, waiting for our day to come.
Two nights ago I had a vivid dream of you. Since you are constantly on my mind and in my heart, I'm surprised I don't dream of you more often. Perhaps I do but just don't remember them. You were your usual stunning little self in a black dress with white trim; I saw you walking towards me and suddenly, in front of all of our friends you fell into my arms and kissed me. I could see your beautiful face, feel your warmth and it seemed as if I could taste your kiss. It was short, you were gone and I woke up. But it was magnificent, a perfect Technicolor dream of you to cherish; a dream of 'Us' and I loved it.
It's late, I'm going to bed now, close my eyes, see your gorgeous face and hopefully dream of your sweet kisses. Good night, Gorgeous. You're always on my mind. XOXOXO
"Happy Valentine's Day Gorgeous"
It's Valentine's Day again and here I sit, another year without you. Since I can't ask you in person tonight, I'll ask you here: Will you be my Valentine, Gorgeous? Even though I haven't heard from you in six weeks (other than a short answer to a question I asked), I still believe in my heart that our day will come. The day will come when I hear you say "I'm ready". When that day arrives, whether I haven't heard from you in 6 weeks, months or even years, I will come to you and live out my remaining years in total happiness with you, my soul mate, my lover, my friend. I miss you dearly this evening, Gorgeous. Know that you are always with me in my heart, mind and soul. XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
"Rhapsody In Gold"
Good Evening Gorgeous,
The print above, "Rhapsody In Gold" is by Nene Thomas, an American artist living in Oklahoma City. You'll find several of her prints on these pages, including "Frost Moon", "Dream Weaver", "Morning Dew" and many others. Since these pages are all about the fantasy world I live in when it comes to you, especially your elusiveness whenever I try to spend any time with you of late, I find her work and the work of others depicting Butterfly Fairies appropriate when describing you and all that you mean to me. As beautiful as these works are none can compare to how beautiful, how stunningly gorgeous you are in my eyes. That you may one day shed your wings and stay with me forever is what keeps me dreaming of you; "Us" becoming melded into one, Soul mates, together forever, as we should be.
I saw you earlier tonight: your usual gorgeous self but in evening attire on this night you outdid yourself. Stunningly beautiful, even more so tonight than I can remember. From your silky soft hair to the peep toe shoes and all the delicious rest of you in between, I found myself feeling extremely envious of those closest to you, so much so I had to turn and walk away at the end of the night, it hurt so badly. Since I use no dates when writing you'll have to figure out what night I'm talking about. Just know that I miss you so much it's painful. My wish for this night is for you to want to be in my life as much as I want you to be in it. I miss that closeness we had before you decided you had to stop the contact I so enjoyed. I miss our conversations, the talks of our hopes and dreams we once shared. I've so much to tell you since our last real conversation, I suppose it will have to wait until our day comes. Sweet dreams, Gorgeous, I'll be dreaming of you this night and every night. You're always with me. XOXOXO
"Kissing You In The Fantasy Moonlight"
This month's moon is currently waning, it was full last week. While full I stepped outside to look and wondered if you were gazing up at the same time as I was fantasizing about holding you, kissing you and spending another glorious night with you. Constantly thinking of you I find myself even more so when the moon is full. You've been on my mind so much lately because I haven't had any contact with you for so long. I long for your company, yearn for even a glimpse of your beautiful little self, hunger to taste your sweet kisses as I hold you in my arms. I ache for you this night and every night but I know it must be this way for now. When our day does come the wait will be worth it but oh, how alone I feel with so little contact between us.
I was treated to a marvelous surprise today: my phone rang and it was YOU! I was in heaven (and still am)! We talked for over fifteen minutes and it was the happiest fifteen minutes I've had in months. I do so wish I could have more conversations with you but I get it. I'll carry those wonderful words you spoke in my heart forever. That you are thinking of me lifts my spirits to new heights because, my Love, I think of you always. You are in my heart, mind and soul every second of every day and I want you there always. Don't ever think because we haven't talked or seen each other my feelings for you have changed. That will never happen. I miss you, Gorgeous. XOXOXO
"Dreaming With You Under The Full 'Pink' Moon"
Since I last wrote to you I've talked with you on the phone twice and have seen you twice. To be in contact with you whether on the phone or in person is always such a treat. I love talking with you at length on the phone, there is always so much to say I usually forget most of what it was I have been thinking and wanting to tell you. That's because in all things I do and think about you are always involved, always on and in my mind. I saw you not long ago, with others of course, but I got the chance to talk with you for a while without anyone else interrupting and I was in heaven. When the night ended you hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and I was elated. To have you, truly the most Genuine Gorgeous Girl in the world, show me attention and affection tops anything else I have happening in my life. A few days later I saw you again, riding your bike this time. It was a short conversation, you had other places you needed to be, but I got a chance to look into your beautiful eyes and lose myself in the fantasy that it you and me. It's always so special when you are anywhere near me and I thank you for allowing it to happen.
As I gazed at the full moon this week I once again found myself wondering if you were looking up also, thinking of me as I was you. While I know it's still impossible for 'Us' to become the couple I would like, for now, it's knowing that you also have dreams of what we could be together that keeps me forever hopeful of the fantasy becoming reality. The moon is my connection to you: wherever either of us may be, anywhere in the world, the moon is there in the night sky whether new, full or waning crescent. It sends my mind, heart and soul directly to you and that's exactly where I want to be: with you always, in my arms, tasting your delicious kisses as I caress your softness long into the night. Sweet and pleasant dreams, my Love. XOXOXO