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My Secret Crush:

A Fantasy Told

   Foreword/1st Night


"The Dream Catcher"



Hello Gorgeous,  


    Where shall I start?  How about with a ĎForewordí, actually written after my dreams were put on paper with the help of  ďThe Dream CatcherĒ, shown above; a magnificent brunette fairy who helps me to sort through my many splendid visions of you.

  I want to preface this by telling you these are my thoughts as they occurred over several years, however, they were put on paper over the course of six writings in three weeks.  The artwork I added last. There is so much I want to tell you but Iíll begin with this:   

  I have you constantly, and I mean constantly, on my mind, the thought of you and me, 'Us', becoming more and more etched into not only my heart and mind, but my soul as well.

  The more I see you, the more I want to be around you, not only at that moment but always.  These written words are from my heart to your eyes and hopefully into your heart as well.  This is how I perceive you as my dream girl. For us, as a couple, to have a loving relationship, would be so marvelous. But, as a realist and believer in the truth will always win, I know our Ďrelationshipí will continue to be a very good, open and honest friendship with our lives heading in different directions as they always have with the exception of when we can see each other socially and among other people, for now.  For me, that is very heartbreaking yet I know itís all so true.  So here goes, my thoughts, my dream, my fantasy of you and us:


"We Kiss Under A Pink Sky"


First NightÖ


   Iím thinking about just what kind of a friendship/relationship do I really have with you.  So as I sit here and think, write and type after midnight, I may ramble because my thoughts donít come chronologically.  A few drinks are thrown in the mix for good measure too.  So as my fingers dance across the keyboard let me try to put it all in some kind of order. 

  You are probably one of the most photogenic women I have come across.  And in every photo of you Iíve seen you look absolutely terrific. As I look at photos of you I find myself drifting off into a dream state, a fantasy world where I can put away the photos because I have the real you to look at. You have such a beautiful face with a smile to die for.  Yet you said you Ďnever get thatí unless itís from me, talking about compliments when I tell you how fabulous you look, how lovely you are, how your scent is such a breathtakingly sweet fragrance. Youíre always so splendidly feminine, such a lady, so graceful the way you carry yourself.  Why everyone in the room doesnít stop what they are doing and, with their eyes, follow you into the place, any place, is beyond my comprehension.  I know I do! 


"You're My Gorgeous Fantasy Girl"


Beauty such as yours is extremely hard to find on a day to day basis, yet even when I see you riding your bicycle and you're hot and sweaty from exertion of your seemingly daily physical exercising, I canít help but stare at your natural good looks.  I know youíre blushing as you read this, but itís true and Iíve told you this before: on your worst day, which is probably when you have a cold or the flu and feeling bad, you are still totally to die for, drop dead gorgeous.  A triple G:  Genuine Gorgeous Girl.  When youíre dressed to kill and going out for the night, there is no adjective worthy of your beauty.  Exquisite and gorgeous canít do you justice. Angelic? I like that, yes.  You are an angel on earth, beautiful beyond human comprehension, heavenly. If it sounds like Iím pouring it on a bit thick, you have to remember this is my fantasy and Iím relating how Iím feeling about you.  Itís been at least five years in the making, every time I get to see you just add to those feelings. Do you remember me telling you how, when Iím with you, I feel like a kid again?  Itís because I see you as being that forever youthful, so very gorgeous girl next door; never aging, always so flawlessly stunning.  Youíre my dream girl, my darling fantasy angel. 


"You're My Forever Youthful Fantasy Angel"


  Then there is the talent:  that wonderful, strong, sexy singing voice you possess is something else that is heaven sent.  Most women, heck, most men too, can only dream of doing what you do on stage, you are that good.  Really.  I could listen to you sing all day and night never tiring of hearing you or watching you.  The potential you have that could be unleashed in a recording studio would put any professional vocalist to shame.  I do so love your singing voice.  I dream of you singing me to sleep every night, softly, the vision of your beauty and the echo of your lovely voice as I drift off night after night, and while not alone physically, I am dreadfully alone in my heart because youíre not really there. 

"My Beautiful Musical Fantasy Girl Sings Me To Sleep"


  Let me get back to the photos. Every picture that I see you in you are smiling that wonderful captivating smile, itís close to hypnotic. That gorgeous smile mesmerizes me.  But the photos and your happiness in them when it comes to your relationship isnít the truth, is it?  You would like more, so much more, wouldnít you?  Itís a shame relationships become so routine, so stale, so, well, for lack of a better word here:  so boring.  I think of how splendid it would be if it were me who could wake up next to you and see that lovely, radiant smile first thing in the morning, every morning, as I hold you ever so gently in my arms.


"My Waking Fantasy Girl Smiles, So Beautiful At First Light"


  But, the way things are today, that, my dear friend is only my fantasy, my dream world. You are that graceful, kind, beautiful, elegant woman any man who meets you and spends a few minutes with you would want to have by his side, always.

  I think of you often, actually most of my day is filled with thoughts of you lately, no kidding.  I wonder if itís healthy, mentally, to think and feel like this. I donít feel as if Iím obsessed with you, I just canít get enough of you.  I genuinely like being in your company; I know I light up every time I see you somewhere, my mood is upbeat whenever I get a chance to talk with you or spend any amount of time with you.  Writing out my thoughts helps me to cope with the reality that regardless of how I feel, Ďusí and Ďweí will probably never happen any time soon.  Thatís a sad, very sad thought because you are so special to me. Too bad things are the way they are, but as I said earlier, this is my story, my fantasy; youíre my dream girl.  What I do see within myself though, is my crush on you has grown into a real love for you. 

  I would hope this Ďconfessioní doesnít drive you away. I just wish things were so much different, but, alas, Ďtwas not to be, at least in the present it seems.  As long as I am able to enjoy your company in a group, at a club, party or other gathering Iíll be happy.  Maintaining our friendship is most important of all and must be continued for me to keep my heart in one piece.  Once in a while when weíre able to see each other one on one is even better because then I can pour my feelings out of my heart and tell you how Iím really feeling.  You are a good listener and I believe you understand where Iím coming from in all of this.  You Ďget meí and I get you.  Hugs are nice, a quick kiss even better.  Twice youíve kissed me quickly on the lips and it was heaven; so sweet, so delicious, so completely feminine. I savor the moments, remember where they happened and continue to taste the sweetness. Awesome is too mild a word to describe your kiss.  Perhaps one day all your kisses will be mine to enjoy and then I can leave this earth a happier man than I ever thought possible when my time comes to depart it.


"The Delicious First Kiss With My Fantasy Girl"


 So, this is one late nightís worth of thoughts while having a few drinks into the early morning hours.  You may see this someday, I want so badly for you to know my feelings because I think you need and want to know how Iím feeling as much as I want you to know and feel it. I write it better than I can say it. Maybe, just maybe, youíll pour your feelings out to me sometime and Iíll find out that you carry me in your heart, too.  That would be so wonderful, looking into your eyes and hearing you tell me your innermost secrets about us. Since this is my fantasy, you may not have any thoughts of ĎUsí but you will at least know whatís in my mind, heart and yes, my very spirit, when it comes to thinking of and dreaming about you.  Iím really glad I got to this point in my life where I can be open and honest with you because I want you to know that you mean so much to me, now and always. Iíll forever keep you in my heart and hope youíll always keep me in yours.  


" I Miss You So Much When We're Not Together"

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